Human Gerrymandering

While I was away, my house had an iron gate added to our downstairs door, which is now locked at night with a padlock.  To get to my room, I now need to pass through: An 8ft compound fence, guards, a padlocked iron gate, front door, apartment door, and bedroom door. (And you can all break in now that you know exactly what protection you need to surpass)

Since moving to this house, well, let’s just compress the past several months and say in short, I have had a plethora of key issues.  This has resulted in multiple instances of being locked out of various areas of my house and great frustration at ineffective safeguarding.

So color me unsurprised when last night I discovered yet another flaw in the “safeguarding” of our house.

After going out to a rugby game, followed by dinner and drinks with some friends, they drove me home only for me to find my guards unresponsive to my knocking (see: key problems, subsection A: no key to front fence).

When I pulled myself to the top of the fence, I saw the guardhouse door was closed completely, meaning that in almost all likelihood, our 2 night guards (who I normally like very much) were inside sleeping.

Not wanting to wake up my neighbors by knocking or shouting loudly (as it was rather late), I decided to just climb over the fence. Much to the amusement of my friends watching from the car.

However, once successfully over (literally) Problematic Barricade #1, that only led to Problematic Barricade #2 as I reached the new iron gates, and realized that they contain an important design flaw.


The inner doors and gate are both double doors… however, the iron gate opens first on the right door, while the inner door opens first on the left.  Normally, this shouldn’t be a problem, as you can usually just unlock the top and bottom pivot points of these opposite doors and swing open both sides.  But, naturally, this is South Sudan, so therefore both the gate and the inner door’s pivot points don’t unlock correctly.

So what did this mean to me?  I spent about ten minutes trying to cajole one of the two stubborn doors open before finally opting for Plan B.


I utilized some very intriguing and crafty human gerrymandering to wedge myself in through the small opening between the two doors.

And yes, waking up the guards for help probably would have been simpler.  

But that’s not how I roll.


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